THOUGHTS ON THE EVOLUTION OF THE MOTHER-CHILD BOND
As babies and infants, your mother is the most important human being in your world. She’s the one you go to in order to get each and every need met. Whether it’s physical or emotional needs, human contact, nourishment, validation or entertainment, your mom is the person who makes you feel seen in the world.
As we grow older, the relationship changes. In adulthood, many of us are very lucky to still have our parents around, but our relationship with our mother is something that evolves in unique ways. New life phases such as retirement or challenges such as worries about the future can all impact your relationship with your mom.
Maintaining this special relationship takes proactive effort. While you already have lots of memories together, forging a new relationship that isn’t based on a ‘parent’ and ‘child’ dynamic but rather on mutual respect and shared interests between two adults means that you are often the one giving instead of taking in the relationship.
Moving from dependence to deep friendship
As your relationship with your mother evolves, it shifts from a childlike dependence to something that resembles a deep friendship. We stop seeing our mothers as our personal heroes who are responsible for meeting our needs, but as a deeply empathetic, caring and essentially imperfect human who has sacrificed a lot for you.
Not everyone has a perfect relationship with their mothers. Maybe you and your mom have had your own healing journeys or you have already been acting like the grown-up in the relationship for quite a while. Irrespective of how you got to where you are today, most people can recognise some of their own character traits, positive attributes, pet peeves or flaws in their mothers.
As you grow older, you also notice an increasing number of things that you can admire in your mother. Maybe she’s brave in ways that you didn’t realise as a child. Perhaps you have gained newfound insights into the decisions she made many years ago. If you’re lucky, you can say that she is a tremendously beautiful person who you honestly like to spend time with.
Growing a mother–child relationship into something greatly rewarding
The bond that you had with your mother as a child was beautiful, but this beauty doesn’t have to fade as you grow older. It simply grows into something incredibly rewarding.
Whether you and your mother are the best of friends, she’s the person you go to for comfort or she is always the person who can add a unique point of view, funny quip or some ancient wisdom to a problem that you are facing, Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate this relationship with her.
Amani Spas is running Mother’s Day specials throughout May 2017 and we want to encourage every daughter, son, husband to make the most of this opportunity. Spend time together at our spa or simply slip her a voucher so that she can spoil herself this year.
View our Mother’s Day specials here.